I really don't enjoy going to doctor's appointments. I worry, I fear, I hope the efforts I've made will show good results. I wonder if recent stress will continue to affect my blood sugars. I've spent the last 31 years and a bit going to doctor's appointments every few months, sometimes with real fear and dread of what they would pronounce. I dreaded the commands of what I should be doing, how I should be living, how I should be eating, exercising, managing... Never acknowledging how challenging it must be to continually be responsible, to never have a vacation from this chronic disease. Rarely asking me what I was feeling.
I'm so thankful it's not like that anymore. I have been blessed with gifted and caring specialists who treat me as a whole person instead of just treating my diabetes.
I still waited in the waiting room today, on a rainy grey day, hating having to be there. Then I looked up and saw this on the wall across the room from me:
What a wonderful display! Colourful interpretations of a rocky shore. I so needed to see that right at that moment.
I thought about how if I was the interior designer of a medical waiting room, I would fill it with art. Maybe huge photographs of the beach mounted on the wall. The sand, the rocks, the seaweed, the froth of the waves on the shore. These are what help soothe my fears and worries. I actually started seeing the photographs, in a series of three on the wall.
So after 30 years of focussing on preventing blindness, kidney disease, and circulatory issues in the feet, now my doctor and I will change our focus to preventing heart disease. Even though my LDL levels are at normal for the average person, the levels are much stricter for those with diabetes. Which means my bad cholesterol levels are elevated and I will begin to take a third medication to help me manage the cholesterol and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Hello, Crestor. Not thrilled to welcome you in to my life. But thankful you are there, nonetheless.
Now, let me go find some sand and beach stones to photograph. I am sure they are stunningly beautiful in the rain and the grey.